I had been a straight As student my whole life, my work had been admired at the end of my Illustration course and commented on the Creative Review website. I was all set for success. I was going to be an illustrator based in London, the place to be.
Six months later I returned home defeated.
I hadn’t had any luck with my illustration. I hadn’t even managed to get a job in a shop as I had no previous work experience. I had been spending my days slowly sinking into a pool of dispair that took all the pleasure out of drawing.
Going home didn’t help.
My parents, who were only try to be supportive, constantly asked me why. “Why don’t you draw? Why don’t you try? You were so good at it.”
I managed to get myself out of this funk by deciding I was going to be an English teacher instead. I’d always enjoyed learning languages and it would give me the chance to travel. It was the best decision I’ve ever made in my life.
Teaching has become one of my passions. Of course, there are days when you wish you didn’t have to go to work, but I always return home feeling like I’ve accomplished something.
I’ve been slowly trying to get back into drawing, but since I came back home for a few months to save up some money, I’ve completely stopped again. It’s like beeing back in this house has triggered all those old feelings. I realised something important.
If I don’t overcome this, I’ll never stop feeling incomplete.
Drawing is so important to me, has always been. So, I’ve decided to start this blog. Having a place where I can talk about this might help me drown that anxiety that holds me back when faced with a blank page.
So welcome, and feel free to share!
This isn’t supposed to be a downer, on the contraty! These are things I need to tell myself before I can move forward. Understanding where this problem comes from helps me plan what to do next.
I leave you with the only drawing I’ve done since I’ve moved back home in December.