Ch-ch-ch-changes

#DavidBowie

A few months ago I watched a documentary on Netflix on Minimalism. This introduced me to the Minimalists. At first, minimalism didn’t really resonate with me. I thought I should get rid of some stuff and that I should think more before I make a purchase, but that was pretty much it.

Later on I taught a lesson on consumerism (I’m an English teacher) and decided to play the intro of the documentary in class to spark some debate. I then ended up watching the rest of it again and something clicked. I’d been feeling down and a bit lost. I didn’t really know what to do with myself. Rewatching the documentary made me wonder why these people looked so damn happy.

So, I looked the Minimalists up, as well as others, and am now reading one of their books (Minimalism: Live a Meaningful Life) and, even though I don’t really like the way they express themselves in the book – sounds a bit forceful – but they make a lot of good points. I decided to try it out.

Now, I’m not going to say that I’ve become a minimalist, or that I’m on my minimalist journey, but it definitely was an eye opener to how I was living me life. It made me change the way things were going.

The first thing I set out to do was to get rid of most of my stuff, or at least anything that didn’t add value to my life. I’ve started with my books and am still organizing things (a week later)! I’ve written a list of all the books I want to get rid of and have given it to all my friends, family members and acquaintances to see if they want them. At the end of May I’ll donate the remaining books at my mom’s friend’s secondhand bookshop.

I’ve also bet myself that I couldn’t go a week without chocolate, biscuits or sweets. It’s day 6 and I’m still going strong. That’s a big victory for me, as I was eating them nonstop, and it’s given me confidence.

“I can tackle anything I put my mind to.”

I’ve also started exercising in the morning, and in a way that I enjoy. It doesn’t feel like work at all. I feel more energectic and this has in turn given me the confidence to dig out my coloured pencils out of the cupboard of old art materials and sketchbooks that I never open and try them out. Here’s the result:

DSC_3650jhjhj

It isn’t much but it’s something.

And I actually had fun!

I’ve been making small changes and they’ve really helped with my self-esteem. Change isn’t easy but it works wonders.

When you feel down in the dumps, how do you crawl back out into the sunshine? It’s only by taking action that we can better ourselves.

Don’t be scared, take that jump.

The Sardine

This is me

#nofilter

I had been a straight As student my whole life, my work had been admired at the end of my Illustration course and commented on the Creative Review website. I was all set for success. I was going to be an illustrator based in London, the place to be.

Six months later I returned home defeated.

I hadn’t had any luck with my illustration. I hadn’t even managed to get a job in a shop as I had no previous work experience. I had been spending my days slowly sinking into a pool of dispair that took all the pleasure out of drawing.

Going home didn’t help.

My parents, who were only try to be supportive, constantly asked me why. “Why don’t you draw? Why don’t you try? You were so good at it.”

I managed to get myself out of this funk by deciding I was going to be an English teacher instead. I’d always enjoyed learning languages and it would give me the chance to travel. It was the best decision I’ve ever made in my life.

Teaching has become one of my passions. Of course, there are days when you wish you didn’t have to go to work, but I always return home feeling like I’ve accomplished something.

I’ve been slowly trying to get back into drawing, but since I came back home for a few months to save up some money, I’ve completely stopped again. It’s like beeing back in this house has triggered all those old feelings. I realised something important.

If I don’t overcome this, I’ll never stop feeling incomplete.

Drawing is so important to me, has always been. So, I’ve decided to start this blog. Having a place where I can talk about this might help me drown that anxiety that holds me back when faced with a blank page.

So welcome, and feel free to share!

This isn’t supposed to be a downer, on the contraty! These are things I need to tell myself before I can move forward. Understanding where this problem comes from helps me plan what to do next.

I leave you with the only drawing I’ve done since I’ve moved back home in December.

Untitled_Artwork

The Sardine